Summer Pilots

Scene: A Corporate Boardroom at SLTV

Chairman: Gentleman, I've called you here because, as you know, numbers are slumping for the "Journey to 20,00 Leagues Beneath the Center of The Mysterious Island" Miniseries- we're at risk of losing sponsors, boys, let's salvage this thing! We've got plenty of footage, I want Ideas!
Ok, Johnny, what have you got?

Executive Johnny Bravo: Ok, in a nutshell- Rebrand and Retool! I've been tinkering with the formats and, boy, have I got winner in there somewhere!

Chairman: Let's see 'em.

Bravo: Ok, -now we're stuck on this Vernian steampunk kick; here's an alternative-- Tikipunk!!

Chairman: Tikipunk?

Bravo: Keep your eyes on the screen...ok, we open with a catchy sea shanty-type jingle..

Oh, sit right back and you'll hear the tale of of this Gnarlihotep dip..
He started from old Cal-e-don upon this Pirate's ship..
Lah-dah-dah-dah,,etc..etc...
A Three hour tooooourrr...

Really catchy tune, explaining all the characters so no-one has to read the profiles, its all there..

With Gnarligannnn..a Duchess or twoooo
The Darkling muse..and her Kniiife
Mr Bardhaven (Woo-oooo)
The Professor and Terry and
Amber and Kira are

Here on MYYSTERRIOUS ISLLLLLE!

Bravo: Episode 1
Gnarligan finds some radioactive carrots after foll0wing giant rabbit tracks- He takes them to the gorgeous Amber who is busy summoning a spirit (likely an expensive Vodka) and she suggests he advise the professor. Gnarligan is hypnotised by her heaving breasts, but tears himself away and stumbles on, the laugh-track following..

The Professor is hard at work on an arcane bit of scientific invention, when Gnarligan interrupts, The Prof. asks him to wait patiently, and moving backward Gnarligan sits on the etheral travel cabinet which collapses with a crunch. Big laughs! The professor grimaces and shouts Gnarligan off..



Gnarligan takes his news to Mr Bowelhaven instead, who guffaws at him derisively, and demands more Penguin-cream pie, before smacking him on the head with his lead-weighted smacking-cap, the laugh track goes crazy!!



Chairman: Stop! No, this won't work. We've got 3 Mary-Annes and 3 Gingers! How are we gonna work the screen time? No go. Next idea!

Bravo: Ok, scratch that. Let's talk value, bang for your buck! Screw the unions, we can do a reality show- edited nastiness and sex throughout, interviews, starvation, injury, and shivering misery on a sunny island, it's what the people want! It'll be great! Gentlemen, Behold...SURVEYOR : Mysterious Island!!!

Duchess Gabrielle: I was surprised that on our first day here we faced a team challenge, it really got started fast. The challenge was to eat the most repulsive mess you ever saw, we tried hard to choke it down for the team, but I must tell you, it was most insistent on returning, and did so very quickly in my case.

Baron Bardhaven : I have suffered, and caused suffering in my time, but never in quite so perverse a way as the foul feast we were challenged to consume. This shall be a difficult month if this is the level of the challenges, truly!

Kiralette Kelly: I...I..Don't want to talk about it....Don't make me....or I'll kick your shin.

Terry Lightfoot: I don't appreciate being dragged here and disgusted in that way, my goddess! I've lived for hundreds of your earth years and It's been a long time since something that disgusting passed my lips! (Don't you say a damned word, Bardhaven, I'm warning you..!)

Gnarlihotep Abel: Well..I tried to make dinner for everyone the first night, but I don't think it went well...

Giant Killer Bunneh: I just want to get to the killin', myself.

Chairman: Too Cerebral!

Bravo: ?!

Bravo: Ok, here we go, last one-- The castaways wake up stranded on the island..now, time to explore and survive...

Gnarli: Wow, I feel weird- I coulda swore I saw that brush moving...Maybe I should go find Kiralette..

Duchess Eva: I've got a bad feeling about this Island. First the Penguin dream, then the giant killer Rabbits, The Lavaflows, and likely fierce lurking natives...Let's face it, this expedition is.....